PAULA'S JORT TOO

Straight, No Chaser - Stephanie Kuehnert

noreply@blogger.com (Paula) — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 11:01:00 +0000

Everyone knows I'm a huge music fan. My Del Rio Bay chapters all start with a song lyric that best describes the mood or action within. So I'm stoked when fellow music fanatics are also fellow sisters of the pen.

Stephanie Kuehnert's, I wanna be your Joey Ramone screams rock from the title and cover.

Ya know, I'm somewhat of a rock diva myself...when the fam and I play Rockband. I'm lead vocals for our band, Random Violence. Rock and Roll baby!

Stephanie, dish with us:

Which cliché best describes you as an author?

SK: Out of these three, Toni Morrison. I aspire most to be like Toni. She has a definitive style, but each story is so unique. I want to do that.

Complete this sentence: I'm a total….from my BLANK to my BLANK, I could write the book on being BLANK

SK: I'm a totally music junkie. From my collection of almost a thousand albums including a buttload of rare vinyl to my ears that ring at random from going to shows once a week for so many years, I could write the book on living for music… Oh wait, I did :)

Using either television, film or literary references, give us the one or two sentence pitch you'd give film agents:

SK: Okay, I am absolutely atrocious at these. I really could not come up with anything that worked because it would be a rock n roll story + a mother/daughter story, but it's a female rock story and there really aren't many of those and it's a different spin on the mother/daughter relationship because they have been separated since Emily was an infant... So I'm going to rebel against this and use music instead. I would say it's a Distillers song (loud angry girl punk for those who don't know them, which is the Emily part of the book) meets a Tori Amos song (you know, very introspective and emotionally nuanced, which is the Louisa part of the book). Hope this is permissible!

TLC says: Absolutely. Music tells a story just like books. Rock on, read on!

If you did an informercial for your book, who would be the perfect celeb to serve as the pitch guy or gal? And why?

SK: Patti Smith, one of the original queens of punk rock is the perfect woman to pitch IWBYJR. She's 100% pure rock 'n' roll and the idol of both my main character Emily and her mother Louisa.

Complete this sentence: It's a good thing I'm not a stalker or else INSERT NAME OF CELEB MINOR OR MAJOR would be in trouble because

SK: It's a good thing I'm not a stalker or else Courtney Love would be in trouble because I'd be following her to the studio so I could hear her new songs. Same goes for Brody Dalle.

A lot of times, authors start a book with one concept in mind (especially us pantsters) and end up with a totally different story. For your most current book tell us where you story started and ultimately ended.

SK: My book started out about tough girl rock goddess and ended up about girl rock goddess with a secret vulnerable streak because of her missing mother.

You're on a desert island with a cell phone. Miraculously it has two bars and enough battery life to make one three minute call. Who do you call?

SK: Well, it's a hard choice between my boyfriend and my mom. But I'm gonna go with boyfriend because my mom would probably freak out whereas my boyfriend would figure out how to rescue me. He could also tell me if my cats were doing ok. But he'd be instructed to call my mom and best friend immediately.

If someone were deserted on an island and came across your book washed ashore, what's the one thing they'd take from it and want to share with the world once they got back to civilization?
SK: That women are the future of rock 'n' roll and that is always better to follow your dreams than to run from your nightmares.

Which celebrity would you like to see put on a bus and dropped in the desert? And why?

SK: Paris Hilton. She's famous for being rich and obnoxious and she started the trend of people being famous for being rich and obnoxious. I can't stand that. What happened to having actual talent? And I think it sends a horrible message especially to girls, that money and looks are all that matter and you should act dumb if it gets you want you want. ARGH!

Straight, No Chaser - Megan Kelley Hall

noreply@blogger.com (Paula) — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 13:56:00 +0000

I love suspense novels. I think it's because they're the direct opposite of what I write, so I really get into them without being distracted. I've not jumped onto the Twilight/Breaking Dawn bandwagon - I have a serious aversion to being mainstream - though the concept of dark, gothic tales appeal to me. So what's a girl to do for a little YA suspense fix?

In steps Megan Kelley Hall with Sisters of Misery complete with snotty cliques and a good old fashion what the heck just happened here mystery.

Have I found a new companion to my Scott Westerfeld obsession? Mayhaps so.

Megan dishes with us on the pop culture tip...

Which cliché best describes you as an author?

MKH: Even though people have been describing me as this dark, gothic writer, I’m actually a pretty upbeat, easy-going, non-threatening girl. I think people expect me to be this dark brooding type, but I’m actually more silly than scary.

Complete this sentence: I’m a total….from my BLANK to my BLANK, I could write the book on being BLANK

MKH: Creative spirit… from my house crammed with books and craft/jewelry making supplies to the fact that my daughter never wears matched clothing and often goes to school in a tutu over jeans and her various collection of tiaras and the fact that I’m always late, scatter-brained and living in a state of chaos, my husband could write the book on living with a free-spirited, creative, chaotic, procrastinating, chronically late for everything writer.

Using either television, film or literary references, give us the one or two sentence pitch you’d give film agents:

MKH: A Modern Day Witch Hunt is Ignited When “Mean Girls” Meets “Practical Magic”.

If you did an informercial for your book, who would be the perfect celeb to serve as the pitch guy or gal? And why?

MKH: Angelina Jolie because everything she does seems to attract the world’s attention. I think if she even used my book as a booster seat for her kid, it would become a bestseller. She would also make a great Rebecca in the movie version, though she might be a bit young to play the mother of a teenaged girl. She’s got the wild, ethereal, free-spirited thing going for her though.

MKH: Complete this sentence: It’s a good thing I’m not a stalker or else JOHNNY DEPP would be in trouble because I’ve been obsessed with him since the 21 Jump Street days.

A lot of times, authors start a book with one concept in mind (especially us pantsters) and end up with a totally different story. For your most current book tell us where you story started and ultimately ended.

MKH: My book started out about a thirty-plus year old woman returning to her hometown to find out the mystery of her cousin’s disappearance that happened over a decade ago and ended up about a teenager looking into her cousin’s disappearance that recently happened.

You’re on a desert island with a cell phone. Miraculously it has two bars and enough battery life to make one three minute call. Who do you call?

MKH: My daughter, just to hear her voice and tell her that her mommy is okay.

If someone were deserted on an island and came across your book washed ashore, what’s the one thing they’d take from it and want to share with the world once they got back to civilization?

MKH: Don’t go to New England. They have crazy, mean girls who live there. (just kidding!)

TLC Says: Megan, Stephen King had me avoiding the New England states long ago. LOL

Which celebrity would you like to see put on a bus and dropped in the desert? And why?

MKH: Every reality show “star”. I saw a girl from one of the Real World shows in an airport and she had her dark sunglasses on and was trying to avoid the paparazzi and fans that existed only in her mind.

TLC: LMAO at anyone on Real World thinking they're a celeb. Whew, that was a good one!!!

Pardon my Passion

noreply@blogger.com (Paula) — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 11:45:00 +0000

I don't like being told to "calm down."

I cry during mushy commercials or TV scenes.

When I get angry, I'm sort of like the Incredible Hulk going from 0 to 60.

When I love someone, they're my favorite person. When I don't, I'd prefer if they moved to Mars.

It's hard to make "favorite" lists because my favorites tend to change by mood.

When I fly off the handle, I let everyone know exactly why I'm pissed - but, when the anger passes I mend bridges* and am ready to talk reason.

*FYI I'm not a feeling hurter. Like angry drunks, feeling hurters say things in anger they don't mean. Passionites (like that? I just made it up) only say exactly what they mean. No regrets!

Yes, my name's P and I'm a passionate person. A passionite, if you will.

I think my kind are misunderstood. Some people view us as over zealous or label us over re-actors. Neither are true.

For the record, I don't get people who aren't passionate. I mean, granted, I tend to be passionate about everything. I won't do it, if I'm not passionate about it. And boy, when I'm not passionate about something the quality of my work suffers.

I also lack the ability to be phony with people. If I don't like you, it's on my face. It's in my body language.

So yeah, I'm an extreme example. But everyone should have a passion for something. Those of you who haven't found at least one thing to be passionate about, quickly go find yourself now. Everyone else, stay and let's discuss the best way to handle the passionite in your life. They'll thank you (passionately, of course) for taking the time to learn to cope:

Rule #1
When your passionite comes to you, lost to all reason, ranting about how INSERT NAME/JOB or FRENEMY got on their last nerve, listen, nod and interject a short, but meaningful blurb of commiseration.

Some good choices are: "Man, he's always been a bastard, hasn't he?" or "Yeah that job never did respect your expertise. Screw 'em." or "Hey, everyone needs a bitchy friend - she's yours."

Rule #2
During above rant, if you're unable to muster commiseration remain silent. And for God's sake never ever ever ever utter "calm down."

The words "calm down" to a passionite are like flame to dynamite. It only enflames our passion more, except now instead of being mad at NAME/JOB or FRENEMY we're mad at you!

Rule #3
Roll with their mania.

Passionites tend to get very excited about opportunities to a point it may seem like manic/depression. I assure you it's not. But a passionite sees the value and merit to most things - disregarding the challenges that may pop up later. Give them time to get over the excitement before pointing out the hurdles. They may even agree with you. If nothing else, they'll appreciate that you waited for the right time vs. pissing on their parade.

Rule #4
Never question their dedication or excitement for something.

Look, just because you can express why you enjoy doing certain things or why you feel a certain way doesn't mean everyone can. Some people go through life "feeling" their way through. They don't always know why they feel something...they just do! It sets us up for quite a few emotional highs and lows, but hey who are we to question the great Creator on why they made some of us this way?

Rule #5
Never take a passionites rant personally.

Recall I said, passionites go through life "feeling" things around them...sort of like how a fly can taste through their legs. Okay eww, that's gross, but similiar nonetheless. In the "moment" they may express exactly how they feel in politically incorrect terminology (Beware feeling hurters, they are not passionate, just mean! True passionites never make someone feel bad just to get their feelings off their chest. Seriously. )

True, the reality of a passionites feelings may seem harsh but it's how they feel at that time...they could actually feel differently once they settle.

Rule #6
Never hold a rant against a passionite.

Remember, we tend to love hard and hate hard. But we're rarely grudge holders. So if you are and you're trying to be our friend/partner...umm, that's gonna be a tough road. Many of us know how to rant without hurting feelings. I'm not saying forgive them for anything they utter. Just saying, blaming someone for feeling the way they do is like getting mad at someone for breathing.

Now you're armed with how to deal with that person, who just yesterday you may have thought needed Prozac. Nah, they probably just need a hug.

Go forth and make peace with the passionite in your life.

Straight, No Chaser - Lara Zeises

noreply@blogger.com (Paula) — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 11:23:00 +0000

Love or fame? Your career or your Boo? Which would you choose?

While some actually sacrifice one over the other, those who don't mind being insane simply try to balance them. Still, it's a choice that many of us have had to face at some point. So may as well start them out young dealing with it.

Lara Zeises, writing as her alter ego Lola Douglas, tackles the issue in More Confessions of a Hollywood Starlet, the sequel to True Confessions of a Hollywood Starlet. In More Confessions a seventeen year old must choose between life in the glam lane or love in a small town.

Whoa. See, I'd totally choose Hollywood...well, unless he was really, really, really...really hot!

Cool side note: True Confessions of a Hollywood Starlet was made into a Lifetime movie, premiering August 9th. Go forth and read then watch.

Hey, Lara dish with us!

Clichés

Which cliché best describes you as an author?

LZ: I’m the Kathy Griffin of the YA genre. I’m totally a D-list author clawing my way up the ladder.

TLC Says: Aren't we all, Lara. Aren't we all.

Stereotypes

Complete this sentence: I’m a total….from my BLANK to my BLANK, I could write the book on being BLANK

LZ: I’m a total television addict … From my obsessive love of competitive reality TV shows to my appreciation for quality scripted fare like FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS and THE OFFICE, I could write the book on what to watch and when.

Pop Culture References

Using either television, film or literary references, give us the one or two sentence pitch you’d give film agents:

LZ: My Starlet books are the Princess Diaries series meets LITTLE GIRL LOST (Drew Barrymore’s autobiography about her struggle with addiction)

If you did an informercial for your book, who would be the perfect celeb to serve as the pitch guy or gal? And why?

LZ: Lindsay Lohan, naturally. Most readers think she’s who I based Morgan Carter on anyway, even though I use Drew Barrymore quotes at the beginning of each installment. The thing is, this generation only knows Drew as one of Charlie’s Angels. They don’t remember the Just Say No spokeskid having to confess to a drug and alcohol addiction.

Stalkerazzi

Complete this sentence: It’s a good thing I’m not a stalker or else INSERT NAME OF CELEB MINOR OR MAJOR would be in trouble because

LZ: It’s a good thing I’m not a stalker or else Alton Brown would be in trouble, because I am obsessed with GOOD EATS and I just want him to be my friend. And to cook for me. But mostly to be my friend.

History Lesson

A lot of times, authors start a book with one concept in mind (especially us pantsters) and end up with a totally different story. For your most current book tell us where you story started and ultimately ended.

LZ: My book started out with me re-imaging Drew Barrymore’s life and ended up mirroring Lindsay Lohan’s.

Those crazy desert Island Questions

You’re on a desert island with a cell phone. Miraculously it has two bars and enough battery life to make one three minute call. Who do you call?

LZ: I should probably say my fiancé, but the truth is he’s kind of scatterbrained and would totally botch a rescue mission. And I couldn’t call my mom, because she’d burn all three minutes talking about herself before I could disclose my location. So I’m going to go with my best friend Candace, because she’s saved my ass more times than I care to count, and she wouldn’t stop until she brought me home safely. She’s really the best friend I’ve ever had.

If someone were deserted on an island and came across your book washed ashore, what’s the one thing they’d take from it and want to share with the world once they got back to civilization?

LZ: “You should be careful when using pop culture references in your writing – they date rather quickly!”

Which celebrity would you like to see put on a bus and dropped in the desert? And why?

LZ: The Olsen twins. Because then I’d never have to see their fake, duck-bill pouty smiles ever again

Feel Like Chatting?

noreply@blogger.com (Paula) — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 17:18:00 +0000

I'm facilitating a Myspace Forum chat for The Brown Bookshelf at 9 p.m. eastern, Wednesday the 23rd (un-huh, tonight).

It could be me just me, Jenn Laughren of Books Inc./Not Your Mother's Book Club and Jaz Vincent, owner of RealEyes Bookstore shooting the gip about our triumphs and troubles as small fish in the big pond of publishing. But I sure hope others show up.

Here's the deal - hard to believe, but, Borders is having issues with their sales "model" and may be closing down a few stores. Hell, in a world where Starbucks are closing stores anything is possible!

Amazon is warring with POD companies and self-published authors about their right to only sell books they publish.

Libraries are cutting hours and budgets. RIP Sunday hours at my local branch!

People are having to choose between gassing up their vehicle and buying a gallon of milk.

So, the time is ripe to talk about independent bookstores and authors and our place in the world of book retail sales.

I see it like this - we've reached the ceiling on just how tough times are going to get or we're about to. Either way, the paradigm on how we spend money and what we spend it on is constantly changing. Where books are concerned, they remain one of the least inexpensive entertainment outlets - so despite those who think the economy will be a hinderence to book sales, I'm hoping the opposite.

Chat with Jenn and Jaz, tonight, to find out how indie bookstores and customers and authors can work together to keep themselves afloat.

That's What's Up! is Top Shelf

noreply@blogger.com (Paula) — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 12:10:00 +0000

At least at Urban Reviews.

That's What's Up has snagged a five-star, Top Shelf, review from Urban-reviews, the site's elite honor. An honor also bestowed upon Don't Get It Twisted.

Urban Reviews predominately reviews adult fiction - heads up to those who click through. But I applaud their efforts to review YA, to guide adult readers to what's out there for the young reader.

Now, normally I don't make a lot of noise about reviews. Let's face it, they're totally subjective. And if I had gotten a bad one I wouldn't have bothered to mention it. I'd drown myself in ice cream and self-pity until the realization that it was simply one person's opinon sank in.

However, I always love when reviewers "get" what I'm aiming for in my books. Urban Reviews has reviewed all of the Del Rio Bay series books so far and they get it. While their reviews cover what each book is about, they also speak to the greater good of the whole i.e. they often shout out the fact that it's a series. By doing that they're helping the many adult readers of their site understand DRB may be a good choice for the young reader in their lives.

My fave quote of the review is the part signaling they get it:
"I truly love how Paula has meshed suburbia and the hood and came up with books that all teens can relate to."

Inclusiveness was my goal when I wrote it. I'm not mad at hearing that someone or a few someones believe I hit the mark.

Check out the rest of the review.

Yes, Virginia, Teens Do Read

noreply@blogger.com (Paula) — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 12:16:00 +0000

YA authors face an inherent challenge that few others do - reaching their readers.

See, the writer of a children's book has parents purchasing for the reader. Adult readers are willingly led to new books by their desire to read, reviews or simply their thirst for fresh literary adventures. Plus, they have their own cheese to buy books.

Readers age 12 and up are a different creature. They're newly independent - so having mom or dad pick out a book is a no-no. While there is no limit to what's available out there for them, I'm not convinced reviews or even advertising really draws them in.

I'd bet my salary that many teens pick up a book because of the cover and purchase based on cover copy and a quick skim - reviews be damned.

There's also that little hitch, they typically need to have mom and dad along with them for a purchase.

On top of that there's the increase in homework and required reading that sometimes turns them off from reading for pleasure all together.

All that in mind, I'm so over the laments of - teens don't read. If I had a dollar for every time I heard it I'd be well-off, if not rolling in dough. A hobby of mine is proving the notion wrong, because I have this whole 'being right makes me happy' thing going on.

And last night, the teen participants at my Rosedale library visit didn't disappoint. Shout out to the members of God's Reading Stars Foundation for stopping in.

As usual, the librarian and I went through the obligatory conversation about our uncertainty of who, if anyone, would show up. After all, this wasn't just a typical "How I became a writer" presentation. I was offering a writing workshop for teens.

Everyone knows, teens don't read, much less want to show up in the middle of their summer, at 7 p.m. and have to WRITE something. What are we, nuts?

Crazy like foxes, apparently. Because nine - yes NINE young readers showed up. And not just wandered in because the Lib made an announcement, but they had all come out to the branch specificially for my workshop.

What?!

Who were these exotic creatures who would forsake chatting online, texting their buds and watching re-runs of Baldwin Hills to come hear some oldish chick talk about books?

Note my sarcasm.

The reality is - teens read! Some of them read a lot. Even if they have a crap load of required reading to get through, avid teen readers read whenever they can get their hands on a book.

So let's stop assuming teens don't read. Let's not give teens the impression that since "they don't read" it's okay to prioritize every other activity and entertainment outlet over books. Let's stop prematurely lamenting the death of literature's importance.

I have no idea if teens read less than they did 5, 10 or 30 years ago. Probably. But we've lost a lot of "traditional" ways since the industrial revolution - ya know? Regardless of any "decline" in the number of overall readers, there are teens who read and teens who don't.

Hmm...sort of like adult readers.

My focus, selfishly, are on teens who read - by choice, not force. I applaud the authors who write books for reluctant readers, because converting non-readers into readers is a win-win for the author and the reader. But my personal focus has always been to create work for young people who already know that the best escape is sinking yourself into a good book.

The young ladies who showed up for last night's event are the exact type of readers I write for. They were excited to talk books. They didn't groan when I made it clear they would be trying their hand at several writing exercises. And no one went deer-in-the-headlights on me when I asked them to read their paragraph aloud.

It was the most fun I'd had at a visit since my stop at the Cockeysville branch during Teen Read Week, where more than 15 teens showed up to talk books and writing. Okay and maybe the snacks didn't hurt to draw them in. But I digress!

Point is, there's a large population of teen readers out there. Every time we vocalize this belief that teens don't read, we undermine those who not only love to read, but manage to enjoy a lot of other hobbies and activities in addition.

Choosing to read doesn't doom you to a life of being solely a book worm. You can be a reader and still be outdoorsy, athletic, a social butterfly or whatever.

The teen reader is not extinct. Nor are they alien pod people. They're ordinary teens who love a good tale and they're among us. Here's to 'em, they're my favorite kind of folk!

Get Your Summer Reading On

noreply@blogger.com (Paula) — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 17:50:00 +0000

OMG, this is the kind of contest that would have put me in a straight happy coma when I was a teen.

Teen Reads is running their Beach Bag Contest. Five lucky readers will bag 10 hot summer reads. And no, I'm not saying these books are hot simply because That's What's Up! is one of the ten books. Okay, maybe I am.

But the fact remains, this is a pretty cool contest. And you have until July 31st to enter. Simply read the excerpts of the books and say which one you'd like to read the most and why.

Now, I'm not trying to put words in your mouth. But you could choose That's What's Up! because:

- No one runs into more eye-raising drama than Mina and the clique

- Mina and Brian get a little *ahem* closer in this book

- Kelly and Angel do something that could cost them 20 to life...if you know what I mean.

- Calling all cheerleaders and people who have always been curious about cheerleaders- if you ever wanted a book that gave a good example of life at a National competition, well here you go.

- The green cover with the chick giving the death stare is cooly high, for real.

- You've already read So Not The Drama and Don't Get it Twisted...what else would you do with your summer but read the next book in line?

And finally,

- I don't write these books for my health, I write them so you can enjoy 'em man.

Check out the contest and enter.

Happy Release Day To Me!

noreply@blogger.com (Paula) — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 12:14:00 +0000

Yup, it's release day for That's What's Up!

Nope, release days don't get any more exciting with each new book. It's still one of the most ant-climatic days in the life of an author because there's so little fan fare involved.

I mean where's the paparazzi outside my door?

Where's the grand book signing where a line of anxious and screaming fans await my sig on their book?

Don't know. But it still feels great to know that a new Del Rio Bay book is out there for readers.

I remember how I excited I used to get when my favorite series book came out. Heck, I still get that excited each time Stephen King releases a new one. For King and a limited number of other authors I'm one of those - hot off the presses buyers. So the thought that there are DRB series readers out there doing the same is actually pretty exciting.

And people are already talking.

Angelia Menchan of APOOO Books says:
"Ms. Chase has once again brought us the group from Del Rio Bay High school and it is as much fun as ever to see what they are up to and the lessons they will learn. "

And Julie Prince of Teens Read Too says:
"Things don't get much more "now" than the happenings in this clique of books... I'll be looking for the next book as soon as it hits shelves, because I know Paula Chase will be keeping it real! "

But don't take their word for it. Check out the latest in my Del Rio Bay series for yourself. If you like stories about frenemies and forbidden relationships, That's What's Up! is your cuppa tea.

Straight, No Chaser - Jenny O'Connell

noreply@blogger.com (Paula) — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 16:14:00 +0000

A-blogging I will go.

A-blogging I will go.

Hi-Ho the merrio, a-blogging I willlll goooooooo!

And I'm starting off with Jenny O'Connell's newest - make that TWO newest, Local Girls and Rich Boys.

Mmm...rich boys. Sorry, I dazed off for a second. So Jenny, let's chat:

TCL: Which cliché best describes you as an author?

JOC: Brooding Hemingway type

TCL: Complete this sentence: I’m a total….from my BLANK to my BLANK, I could write the book on being BLANK

JOC: I’m a total walking contradiction, from the bruises on my arms from playing field hockey every week to the three inch Calvin Klein stiletto heels and suits I wear to work, I could write the book on having dual personalities.

TCL: Using either television, film or literary references, give us the one or two sentence pitch you’d give film agents:

JOC: I guess I’d have to say LOCAL GIRLS and RICH BOYS are Juno meets Gossip Girl – stories that offer a glimpse into the lives of girls dealing with the confusion life throws at them while living in a place that feels like a ferry ride and a world away from everything until it’s transformed during the summer. Each book is told in first person from the point of view of a single character who was introduced vaguely in the book before, so it’s like a spotlight on one person with the island as the stage.

If you did an informercial for your book, who would be the perfect celeb to serve as the pitch guy or gal? And why?

JOC: I am terrible at questions like this because I am not a movie person, it would have to be a teen girl who’s down to earth, smart and just struggling with the stuff every girl goes through.

TCL: Complete this sentence: It’s a good thing I’m not a stalker or else INSERT NAME OF CELEB MINOR OR MAJOR would be in trouble because

JOC: Or else Matt Damon would be in trouble because I’d kidnap him and take him to a Red Sox game so we could share a couple of beers and laugh our asses off.

TCL: A lot of times, authors start a book with one concept in mind (especially us pantsters) and end up with a totally different story. For your most current book tell us where you story started and ultimately ended.

JOC: My books started out about summertime on an island and ended up about situations and problems that could happen anywhere.

TCL: You’re on a desert island with a cell phone. Miraculously it has two bars and enough battery life to make one three minute call. Who do you call?

JOC: My husband and kids, who happen to also have my best friends over for a party so we all get to talk.

TCL: If someone were deserted on an island and came across your book washed ashore, what’s the one thing they’d take from it and want to share with the world once they got back to civilization?

JOC: That they could totally relate to the characters and what they were going through.

Which celebrity would you like to see put on a bus and dropped in the desert? And why?

JOC: There are so many, I don’t think I could choose – could we make it a train instead so I could fit more people?

Sure, Jen. All aboard! Next stop, the Mojave Desert.

Me and Tiger On the Mend

noreply@blogger.com (Paula) — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 12:26:00 +0000

I watched The U.S. Open over the weekend. I tend to watch the majors because Tiger Woods plays in them and he's interesting to watch.

I'm not sure everyone has been converted yet, but I'm definitely a believer that even someone who isn't an avid golf fan can enjoy/appreciate what Tiger Woods does on the course and has done for the sport of golf.

Rocco Mediate gave Tiger a hell of a run. It was truly an entertaining sports event.

But one of the reasons I was into the Open more then ever was Tiger's injury. He was playing on a bad knee. Without an ounce of overplaying the injury, he winced, buckled and grimaced through 91 friggin' holes of golf.

Ninety-one!!

And I so knew what he was going through. Not literally, of course. The only golf I play is mini-golf on vacation.

But my family and I were in a terrible car accident at the end of May. It's why I haven't been blogging. It's why I haven't been doing much of anything lately. The accident busted up my knee pretty bad and has stripped a great deal of my independence and mobility.

At the heart of things, I'm an athlete. I ran track and cheered competitively and most recently coached competitive cheerleading. I don't exactly understand terms like "can't," or "too hard" or "pain" unless it's accompained by the words "no pain, no gain."

So my recovery has been tough or rather the fact that I'm unable to do so many normal, everyday things, has been tough.

For weeks I couldn't do anything but lie prone in my family room because I couldn't walk on the leg without bursting into tears. Let me tell you, there's nothing like needing help to use the toilet.

Good times. Good times.

Then when I was able to get up and around I was on crutches. I also used a cane for awhile.

I'm finally walking on the leg now - no extra artificial appendages needed. Maybe hobbling is a better term because I still can't bend the knee. Still, I'm way more mobile than I was a few weeks ago. Hell, more mobile than I was a few days ago.

It's not quite as bad as starting from scratch and learning to walk all over again. I mean, I still have one perfectly healthy leg. But I'm an active, mobile person. So my getting around now compared to what I'm used to doing is 180 degrees different.

It takes me longer to get up and down stairs. Have you ever taken one stair at a time?

Good lord, it takes forever.

Straight-legging every step I take means even my four-year old walks faster than me.

I can't drive and working out or taking a simple walk around my neighborhood is out of the question.

Some days my leg aches so bad I wish I had a massage therapist on-call. Other days the wound itches so bad and I attack it so furiously even Princess Bea is like, "Mommy stop scratching." But I do what I can. And each time I feel the leg is ready for a new milestone, I give it a whirl.

Seriously, I nearly threw a party the first time I was able to take the stairs. I hadn't seen the upstairs of my house in fifteen days.

My heart did a little dance the first time I was able to bend over far enough to shave my legs. Woo-hoo!

And standing up in the shower? Well, I think the whole house celebrated that day. Twenty plus days without a shower...fughedabowid.

So yeah, when I saw Tiger power through his injury then heard that he'd be out the rest of the season, I felt a connection.

No doubt his leg was screaming at him by Monday night. Nothing a few codeine can't help, I'm certain. I know of the codeine haze!

I'm sure it'll kill him inside a little to watch the British Open and PGA championships from the sidelines. Princess A is about to start conditioning for cheer try-outs and I had an entire boot camp ready - one I was going to do alongside her. Now, not so much.

I think Tiger will find the toughest part of the recovery is the mental acknowledgement of his physical limitation. I wish him well with that. It's trickier than the physical mending and can take you out of your game completely if you let it.

I've never met a situation that I didn't think I could conquer. So it's humbling when your mind tells your body to do something it simply can't...especially something as simple as "knee...bend!"

Already the golf analysts are speculating on how ready Tiger will be next season. Pre-mature doesn't begin to describe that conversation. Yet, no doubt Tiger is already thinking about how to hasten his recovery and he hasn't even had the surgery yet.

I've been told my total recovery will take six months, total. That means I won't be 100% until January!

I try not to think about that. I'm taking it day-by-day and doing what I can to return to life as "normal" as soon as I can. So I have no doubt, once Tiger's body is physically able he'll be back out there pounding away at those courses.

Me and him both.

Straight, No Chaser...Sara Hantz

noreply@blogger.com (Paula) — Mon, 19 May 2008 11:39:00 +0000

What happens when all your worlds collide?

Come on, don't tell me I'm the only one who has multiple worlds spinning on their own axis'?!

Well, since mid-April my FTJ, writing, mommy and coach worlds all collided resulting in an implosion that meant I had to take a vacation from a few things. Guess which world lost?

If you said writing, you're the winn-ah.

As much as I'm proud of my multi-tasking, of late I'm seriously contemplating a lifestyle change. Speaking of which, today's GCC spotlight is Sara Hantz and The Second Virginity of Suzy Green.

I love the concept - teen girl is total non-comformist until experiencing a great tragedy so she decides to change course in her life, which is all good until a part of her old world clashes with her new.

OMG, that's so me, right now.

Sara let's chat...

Stereotypes

Complete this sentence: I’m a total….from my BLANK to my BLANK, I could write the book on being BLANK

SH: I’m a total TV junkie, from my obsession with American Idol to the reruns of Friends I watch over and over. I could write the book on being a TVaholic

Pop Culture References

Using either television, film or literary references, give us the one or two sentence pitch you’d give film agents:

SH: My The Second Virginity of Suzy Green is OC meets Gilmore Girls

If you did an informercial for your book, who would be the perfect celeb to serve as the pitch guy or gal? And why?

SH: Rachel Bilson from OC is the perfect pitch gal. She’s the same age and is like Suzy in many ways.

Stalkerazzi

Complete this sentence: It’s a good thing I’m not a stalker or else INSERT NAME OF CELEB MINOR OR MAJOR would be in trouble because

SH: It’s a good thing I’m not a stalker or else Johnny Depp would be in trouble because I’d be in France watching his every move.

History Lesson

A lot of times, authors start a book with one concept in mind (especially us pantsters) and end up with a totally different story. For your most current book tell us where you story started and ultimately ended.

SH: My book started out about a girl on a mission to lose her virginity and ended up about a girl who denied she had lost it.

Those crazy desert Island Questions

You’re on a desert island with a cell phone. Miraculously it has two bars and enough battery life to make one three minute call. Who do you call?

SH: My children – 1.5 mins with each.

If someone were deserted on an island and came across your book washed ashore, what’s the one thing they’d take from it and want to share with the world once they got back to civilization?

SH: That it’s ok to be who you are, and you shouldn’t try to be someone you’re not.

Which celebrity would you like to see put on a bus and dropped in the desert? And why?

SH: Johnny Depp….. perfect eye candy and a fun, smart guy

Straight, No Chaser...Megan Crane

noreply@blogger.com (Paula) — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 19:15:00 +0000

If time were money I'd be broke and homeless. I'm forever running at a time deficit and because of that I'm on a constant quest to re-evaluate. This go round, my inner psychologist tells me that I need to seriously eliminate internet activities that don't result in 1) relieving stress or 2) increased awareness to my books.

Starting in June, I'm likely going to be dropping a few things from my plate based on that criteria. But no worries GCC, you will not be among them.

Granted, I'm two weeks behind in my GCC profiles. But according to my statcounter, GCC delivers on #2 of my internet musts.

I was fortunate enough to meet founder, Karin Gillispie during the RT Convention. Sweet lady and a fellow, take a book to dinner chick.

So Karin and GCC peers, forgive me for falling behind on my girlfriend duties. With no further adieu, I present to you Megan Crane giving us a little inside scoop.

Umm...does anyone have a craving to go out lip gloss shopping after looking at Megan's cover?

Meet you at Sephora!

Clichés

MC: "Brooding Hemingway type" is what I aspire to, definitely. I'd love to swan about Paris , complaining about my friends who happen to be great literary luminaries, sipping absinthe and practicing feeling jaded. I do this in my apartment all the time.

Stereotypes

MC: I’m a total hypochondriac. From my belief that each freckle is a time bomb trying to kill me to my obsession with WebMD, I could write the book on how to misdiagnose yourself and cause the most needless stress.

Pop Culture References

MC: Names My Sisters Call Me is Brothers & Sisters meets Ally McBeal. (And hey! Both involve Calista!)

MC: Oprah Winfrey is the perfect pitch person for my book. I just have this feeling that viewers would connect with her, and buy my book as a result. Call me crazy.

Note: Oh sure, if you like that sort of thing, being a bestseller and all! ::snicker::

Stalkerazzi

MC: It’s a good thing I’m not a stalker or else Gerard Butler would be in trouble because... (I already kind of stalk him. Is that wrong? I feel that his beauty is one of the great wonders of the world, so that makes him a tourist attraction, practically.)

Note: Hmm...sounds like a pretty good defense to me. I'll have to remember it if I'm ever caught stalking Reggie Bush's abs!

History Lesson

MC: My book started out about first love vs. true love and ended up about self-love, family love, and what sisters can sometimes do to each other.

Those crazy desert Island Questions

You’re on a desert island with a cell phone. Miraculously it has two bars and enough battery life to make one three minute call. Who do you call?

MC: My husband. I like him a lot, but more important, he's kind of a ninja, so I'd expect him to come rescue me.

If someone were deserted on an island and came across your book washed ashore, what’s the one thing they’d take from it and want to share with the world once they got back to civilization?

MC: Its surprising insights into the human condition. (Why not??)

Which celebrity would you like to see put on a bus and dropped in the desert? And why?

MC: Angelina Jolie. She could live off of her lips, and her bottomless self-regard. She offends me, deeply; that's why.

Note: Ooh joy, another Angelina hater. I'm so with you, sister! I'm still waiting for Brad to get back with Jen. ::sigh::

My Thinkie Thing's Tired

noreply@blogger.com (Paula) — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 18:35:00 +0000

Some days I long for the days when I was in college, home for the summer waitressing. Not to glamorize it, because being the relative low gal on the totem pole of the food service industry is no joke. Long hours on your feet, demanding customers and that icky, food residue smell that saturates your clothes.

But what I enjoyed about being a waitress was how when my shift was over, it was over!

I went home, shed my smelly garb, showered and turned into someone else for the rest of the day - sometimes I was reader girl lounging in my parent's sunroom, other times I was date girl, hanging out with a guy friend at the movies.

Don't you love jobs like that?

I'd simply hang up my server's pad and pen for the day and didn't lose any sleep worrying about whether or not a customer received the right order or fretting if maybe I'd forgotten to refill all the ketchup bottles.

I haven't had a job where I could leave my work at the job in a long time, because though I rarely take work home from my full-time job, writing and promo are always there waiting on me.

In other words, my thinkie thing is operating at full-tilt eighteen hours a day. But that gravelly crunching sound you hear are my gears grinding to a halt.

In January, I already knew what my April and May would bring: travel to RT, a few local library visits, my cheer squad's final Nationals and a trip to Canada with Princess A's French class.

I also knew, that despite some of the activities being purely personal and fun, it would make for a very tiring two months. So I was doing my best to get as much writing done on my fifth, DRB series book, Flipping The Script, as I could.

Good thing I did because I've hit the wall.

Yup, right here at the very start of my busy period, P's thinkie thing has left the building. It's simply incapable of doing anymore deep thinking.

Don't get me wrong. I can handle the lightweight stuff. Hell most of my daily routine I can do with my eyes closed, though I wouldn't recommend doing that while behind the wheel in rush hour traffic. But where writing goes, I'm fooling myself to think it's happening until life has settled down to a more natural rhythm.

Too bad that's another 40 days from now!

You know what the hardest part of slowing down is? Admitting you need to.

I had a good time at last week's RT Convention. Had fun with some cool authors and networked with a good number of booksellers and librarians. Woke up every morning at 6:30, worked out, got a little writing in on Friday and was in bed fast asleep by 11:30 every night.

I know, I'm such a party poop. No faery ball for me.

I honestly didn't feel tired until I woke up Sunday morning. Never underestimate how tiring being "on" is! I've been dragging ever since and the writing has suffered.

I pushed myself to write yesterday, got in two hours. The prose didn't titillate me, but I got it done.

However, today, as I dragged my butt to the post office for stamps (remember the rates go up on May 12th...don't get me started on the postal service and these near annual rate hikes!) trying to see ahead to what the next chapter would tackle, I realized my brain was muddled. So muddled, in fact, that even my desire to write can't help me produce something coherent.

Normally, I'd rather write drivel then write nothing at all. But if you don't re-energize the thinkie thing it goes on strike.

I need to stay away from my characters long enough for them to come looking for me. I love those times when they won't leave me alone, no matter how I try to block them.

Right now, they're seriously MIA.

If you see them, send them my way. I'll be the one poolside sipping a Seven & Seven.

Extreme Author Challenge: Village Learning Place

noreply@blogger.com (Paula) — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 00:50:00 +0000

Do you hear that? It's the sound of the P promo train leaving the station, first stop The Village Learning Place, a private library in Baltimore.

Invited by Ms. Andrea, I was asked to do the author thing with their middle school group. I had a good time, a little rusty since I haven't done a visit since November, and the kids...well I think they enjoyed it. It's so hard to tell with middle schoolers. If it's not something they're currently obsessed with, you only register mildly on their radar.

But I think they had fun. Thanks to the tweens and teens who played along.

Ms. Andrea said something that really struck me - she said with this age group they know what they don't want but not really what they do. I think that's so true. Which is why exposing young readers to as many experiences as possible is key.

So thank you, Village Learning Place for having me!

I think the young patrons enjoyed making posters to promote their chapter more than they did creating it, but I've learned when it comes to young readers - take what you can get and be happy. If they're geeked to get your book - and they seemed to be - then Ms. Andrea and I did our jobs.

The point of the Extreme Author Challenge is to help young readers experience life as an author. They get fifteen minutes (a deadline) to write a mini-chapter as a group. Then they must promote their "book" within their library and encourage patrons to read and comment on their chapter (promotion).

So, leave a comment and let the young readers know you stopped by. They're far too young to experience the deafening silence that's the norm for authors.

Their chapter is based on Don't Get It Twisted.

The Set-up:
Mid-way through the book, Mina is warned by Brian, at a party, that she may not be too happy when she finds her crush/sort of boyfriend, Craig. Here's what the clique at Village Learning Place thought happened after:

Mina gets hit by Kelis, the girl Brian was secrety dating. So Mina punches her back. The neighbors called the police and cleared the area. Then Mina went home and told her mom. Her mom asked what happened for her to get into a fight. Mina tells her mom what happened and her mom says, "That was a very stupid thing to fight over." When Mina finished talking to her mother, she went up to her room and slammed her door. She found out Kelis was talking to a friend they met at camp. But Craig came over and he and Mina went to Mina's room. She found out he was cheating and Brian was like, "What I tell you?"

P's A Romantic

noreply@blogger.com (Paula) — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 17:41:00 +0000

At least in the sense that I'm heading to the Romantic Times Convention later this week.

Let's just get it out, up front, that I'm none to happy about flying solo. Flying isn't exactly my favorite thing to do, in the first place, but flying by my lonely gives me more time to think about how much I dislike flying.

I know, I know, the flight's only an hour. Get over it, P!

I would have gladly taken the train, but Amtrak - for some unGodly reason takes eight plus hours to get to Pittsburgh. It's a four hour maybe five all day long, in a car, from where I live. Why Amtrak takes longer to get there is a mystery to me.

Not that I wanted to drive that far either because after commuting on the local beltways for a number of years - my patience for long car rides is little to nothing.

So I'm hopping a flight amidst all the issues of Southwest and American Airlines. Lovely.

Still, a few days to myself, a luxury I'm rarely afforded in the house of Hyman, is well worth the tiny flight. Also, I get to hang out on a YA panel with some lovely ladies who I cyber pal around with - Melissa Marr, Mari Mancusi, and Stephanie Hale.

And did I mention a few days to myself?

So, if you're in Pittsburgh or at the convention stop by and see me at the panel , Thursday evening or Saturday's book signing. Otherwise, I won't know what to do with all that free me time.

Two Plus Too Minus One

noreply@blogger.com (Paula) — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 10:30:00 +0000

People are always asking how did I come up with the idea for the DRB Clique. Why six people? Why a mixed group? Why so many?

Because that's how big my tightest circle of friends was. The DRB Clique isn't a cover for my teen clique but an homage to them. Tiny pieces of our existence are intertwined everywhere in my characters - which is why no one character mirrors me or my friends exactly.

Of course we considered ourselves a crew then, in the eighty's, because break dancing and what not was huge and break dancers ran in crews. So, fiends of pop culture followed suit.

That's it, though. That's the answer. Nothing more, nothing less.

I chose marketing and PR as a career. I'm a writer by skill. But everything isn't a concentrated effort or strategy much as my Type A personality would like it to be so.

Two Plus Too Crew was me, my girl Nick and our four best guy friends. I know, we couldn't count very well could we? 'Cause that's six people all day long. But it started out with four and just kept growing.

The crew actually had more than six, because we rolled mob deep in high school. But at its core, it was us six.

The "heart" of the core was Big Ed, named so because he was literally a big guy. But as luck would have it, he also had a big heart and was the friendliest person on earth. Eddie had this smile that immediately signaled he was up to something devilish.

And he couldn't lie. When he tried, his mouth would pooch up and his forehead would wrinkle like it did that time all the guys rode with him to me and Nick's cheer competition and never arrived.

We were so hot with them. They told an elaborate lie, the way guys do when they're in trouble...oh because I forgot to add that the original four of the crew were Nick, myself and our boyfriends (now hubbies). So they were the ones in trouble, and by association so were Rodney and Eddie.

Now that I think about it, Rodney and Eddie got into more trouble because of our BFs. They're probably the only two guys in the world who basically got all the nagging of having us as girlfriends and none of the benefits.

Man, that's so wrong now that I think about it.

Anyway, the other three told the lie easy - bad influences every one of 'em ('sup ya'll?) but Eddie's lips started to pooching and his eyebrows rising and falling making his forehead wrinkle. Nick and I were like - Alright ya'll lying! What really happened?!

They were like - Aww man, Ed you dogged us out.

But he didn't of course. He was just too honest for his own good, sometimes - or at least for their own good when they wanted to be up to no good.

Big Ed passed away, last year. It was the first time I'd ever lost a close friend. He was only thirty-seven. And honestly, using the term "only" is habit when referring to someone not old passing. The fact is, if I were sixty-five or seventy, right now, I'd probably still say "man, he was only..."

Because you never want to lose a friend.

This morning, though, I realized you never do.

Tomorrow is Eddie's birthday. He would have been thirty-nine.

I dreamt about him this morning, just as my brain shifted from sleep to waking. He was only in the dream for a few seconds. The dream wasn't about him. It wasn't about anything really, fractured thoughts from a tired, stressed out mind, mostly.

But right in the middle, when the nonsense was getting I guess too ridiculous for my mind to process anymore, there he was, sitting in a chair teasing me, covering his big laugh behind his fist like he used to do. And there I was giving him grief, pounding him good-naturedly with tiny fists that couldn't inflict pain on him even if I hit my hardest. He laughed it off, pretending to fend me off as we joked back and forth.

The way we interacted in the dream is how we always used to hang out and it could have been a scene out of one my books, because it's how the clique trips with one another - light barbs filled with affection.

I woke up, pleasantly startled and a little sad that he'd come to visit me so easily. Slipped into my dream so smoothly I never questioned why he was there or why he's no longer here.

There's no answer to the latter, but there is to the former question - it's his birthday, tomorrow, but he dropped by and gave me a gift, a reminder that he is still here.

Happy Birthday, Big Ed. R.I.P. and keep dropping into my dreams now and then.

Children's Authors of Color - Where Art Thou?

noreply@blogger.com (Paula) — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 14:51:00 +0000

Kyra Hicks was Monday's guest blogger over at The Brown Bookshelf. She shared the annual numbers from the Cooperative Children's Book Center study on the state of children's books. The study is decent insight into whether, statistically speaking, the number of books published are up, down or holding.

Specifically, books by people of color are down. African American children's literature is down 12%.

Blegh!

Hungry for a few more stats?

* 42 Latino Children's Book Authors in 2007, just as 2006
* 56 Asian American Children's Book Authors in 2007, down from 72 in 2006
* 6 American Indian Children's Book Authors in 2007, down from 14 in 2006

Kyra asks if we believe these numbers will go up or down for '08. Give your .02 cents over at the BBS.

Here's mine...

My impression was that the number of childrens books by authors of color was rising. But looks are deceiving.

I was shocked at the '07 stats, especially since there was a definite flurry of YA among African American authors last year. Now I'm beginning to think that where there may have been an increase in YA, perhaps MG or Picture Books took a hit. It's not exactly progress if only one area is allowed a renaissance.

So here's the deal, money talks.

The only way we'll see a steady increase in books by authors of color is if consumers purchase them. So if you're looking for:

- books by and about people of color

-or-

- books that give a peek into a world readers may not necessarily think is like their own (but oftentimes is)

make sure you purchase or borrow these children's books and definitely request them at the store or library if they aren't carried.

iTunes Ain't Right

noreply@blogger.com (Paula) — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 00:45:00 +0000

Don't get me wrong, I love my iPod like it's one of my kids...okay, not that much, but close.

Still, iTunes runs afoul of me anytime I can't find a song I'm truly feigning to hear. It's almost always some obscure, old-school jam that I haven't heard since my teen days. But they seem to carry every tune on earth, so when I run up against a song they don't have, I take it personally.

Okay, so last year I went searching for Pop Goes My Mind, one of the first hit singles by LeVert. If you're unfamiliar with the group you're likely not an R&B fan. If you're unfamiliar with the single, you likely only know Gerald Levert as a solo artist. And you know how P feels about musical history lessons. Check the links and catch up, I'll wait.

Moving on...

iTunes has this odd habit of only carrying the "successful" albums of artists. And by successful I mean the mainstream stuff. Levert didn't really take off until late 80's, early 90's so Bloodline, the album with Pop Goes My Mind didn't make the cut.

I cursed iTunes out for a good week when I couldn't find it - which is ten days shorter than my blast when I found out I had to buy the entire Sheila E. album to get my jam, Love Bizarre. Don't even get me started!

Last week, Sean Levert, the younger of the Levert brothers passed away. The tragedy was impacted by the fact that Gerald died late '06. I can't imagine their families pain at losing them both, so early.

These are young guys we're talking here -both in their late thirties/early forties.

I'm doing all I can to keep my mortality hypochondria at bay, just talking about it!

Anyway, so the hubster and I morbidly joked that now that both had passed maybe iTunes would make all their tracks accessible.

Honestly, I was only kidding.

But I went to iTunes tonight and what did I find? Each and every album Levert ever released.

I got the track I wanted and now I can reminisce about 1986 for hours on end. The year me and the hub started dating.

Awww, that's cute, isn't it?

Still, iTunes you ain't right!

I have no idea what politics are involved with how artists and labels release tracks to iTunes. So it's probably not even iTunes fault. But they're the messenger, so who else am I gonna blame?

Hmm...although last I heard Sheila E. was alive and kicking, I better check just to make sure iTunes hasn't released that death grip on Love Bizarre.

That's my jam!

Straight, No Chaser...E. Lockhart

noreply@blogger.com (Paula) — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 11:26:00 +0000

E. Lockhart has this way of eliciting the strangest information from me. Thanks to her, now people know exactly what type of groupie I'd be (you know, if it weren't for that whole husband and kids thing) and that apparently, I'm a raging feminist. Who knew all that male-bashing I've done in the past had an actual politically correct purpose?

But now I get to delve into E's mind and find out a little bit about her latest book, The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks.

Clichés

Which cliché best describes you as an author?

Brooding Hemingway type
Eclectic Toni Morrison
Candace Bushnell Zeitgeist

EL: I think I write literary fluff, or maybe fluffy literature. So maybe Eclectic Brooding Zeitgest?

TCL says, only use fluffy literature when throwing books at people.

Stereotypes

Complete this sentence: I’m a total….from my BLANK to my BLANK, I could write the book on being BLANK

EL: I am a total Brooklynite. From my crammed apartment to my blue-painted toenails, my intimate knowledge of the subway system to my massive consumption of bagels, I could write the book on Brooklyn.

Pop Culture References

Using either television, film or literary references, give us the one or two sentence pitch you’d give film agents:

EL: The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks is the love child of Dead Poets Society and Mean Girls.

If you did an informercial for your book, who would be the perfect celeb to serve as the pitch guy or gal? And why?

EL: I would want novelist John Green to pitch Disreputable History. Does he count as a celebrity? Maybe in the world of YA literature.

Why? Because John actually likes my books (I wouldn't believe it if Cher said she liked my books, you know? Though I would enjoy having Cher, just because she's, well, Cher, and maybe I'd get to see what her real hair looks like). Anyway, John actually likes my books, he writes novels that are extremely awesome and kinda similar to mine but get more respect; he's funny, and librarians love him. He makes great video blogs.

Stalkerazzi

Complete this sentence: It’s a good thing I’m not a stalker or else INSERT NAME OF CELEB MINOR OR MAJOR would be in trouble because

Example: or else Reggie Bush would be in trouble because I’d be hiding in his shrubbery trying to get a photo of those abs!

EL: Okay, I am a big dork but I had to google-image Reggie Bush.

HelLO, abs! Those are incredibly serious, Paula!

Honestly. I don't know. Even when I was 12 I was never one to have like pictures of Sean Cassidy up on my wall. (Yes, Sean Cassidy. I am that old, okay?)

But I did have a dream once that I was friends with Liz Phair. She really thought I was cool. Which in real life she probably would not.

TCL says, shame on E for not knowing Reggie Bush's abs. Gah! And I never thought I'd EVER say this, but I'm jealous of Kim Kardashian (the Abmeister's GF).

History Lesson
A lot of times, authors start a book with one concept in mind (especially us pantsters) and end up with a totally different story. For your most current book tell us where you story started and ultimately ended.

EL: Nice question! The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks started out as a book about kids playing truth or dare, and ended up a book about feminism, old boys networks and secret societies.

Those crazy desert Island Questions

You’re on a desert island with a cell phone. Miraculously it has two bars and enough battery life to make one three minute call. Whom do you call?

EL: I call my home. The people I live with.

If someone were deserted on an island and came across your book washed ashore, what’s the one thing they’d take from it and want to share with the world once they got back to civilization?
EL: Women don't have full social equality yet, even though we have equal rights. Hello? Let's get on that.

Which celebrity would you like to see put on a bus and dropped in the desert? And why?

EL: I am deeply annoyed by many celebrities, but I would never want any of them dropped in the desert, because I get so much enjoyment out of gofugyourself.typepad.com. The worse the celebrities are, the better Go Fug Yourself gets, so let them live on in their crazy outfits!

Sweet Mother of Anorexia

noreply@blogger.com (Paula) — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:59:00 +0000

What was Random House thinking when they changed the size of the Sweet Valley High twins from a size six to a size four. And what on earth made them bother to highlight it in a letter to the press announcing the re-issue of Sweet Valley High?

Are there not enough images on television and in film of the ultra-thin? Now, books must also emphasize someone's size?

I was a first-generation Sweet Valley High reader. Loved those books to death. I never knew the size of the twins, much less would recognize a change in a re-issued version of the book. I'm completely clueless as to why it was an essential fact to "update." Or why it's worth noting in relation to what is otherwise a grand moment in the life of this series and teen literature.

Gossip Girl and my own Del Rio Bay series owes our debt to SVH - it's the mold from which all teen pop series were formed.

I met Francine Pascal at the SCBWI Mid-Winter conference in 2006 when I attended her workshop "Writing The Teen Series." I remember her saying she wrote SVH because she wanted to create a teen soap opera. And SVH was definitely that, right down to amnesiacs, evil twins and mysterious sometimes near-fatal diseases among key characters.

Pascal's plot lines were homages to the Guiding Light, Days of Lives and All My Children soap rage that personified much of the '80's. The SVH twins being "a perfect size six" wasn't a marketing angle. It merely mirrored the petite women of daytime soaps.

But what purpose does diminishing their size serve? And what the heck is wrong with being a size six?!

As the momma of an athletically-built, curvy teenager who hasn't been a size six since she was in the fifth grade, I'm disgusted that size matters. As a YA writer, I'm saddened that within all the words we writers put together to make a fun read, the one which bears the most significance, in this case, is a number.

See, this is why I'm not a numbers person!

I Heard You Died

noreply@blogger.com (Paula) — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 13:40:00 +0000

At least that's what regular readers of any blog feels when their blog goes on unannounced hiatus only to come back out of the blue.

I am alive and well, thank you. But blogging is harder and harder to keep up with in between writing to pay the bills, working to pay the bills, helping to make bills aka family time and of course the ever present coaching - as you know cheer season runs the same amount of time it takes a woman to carry a baby to term. That makes me perennially pregnant for the last six years. Oy!

And I doubt I'll return to any sort of regular blogging schedule until something gives. This includes but is not limited to:

- Cheer season ends once and for all culminating in the most bittersweet moment of my life. I'll have to resume blogging to add meaning to my life - after all, isn't that what coaching cheerleading was about?

- I get a multi-million dollar book contract allowing me to become arrogant and big headed, leading both to a drinking problem that somehow enhances my ability to write the world's best prose and an obnoxious need to rub my new riches in people's faces via daily blogs outlining my new luxe lifestyle that may or may not involve a manservant named Chauffery.

- My boss at the FTJ decides for reasons only known to her that blogging is somehow an essential part of my job duties, regardless of subject matter.

- I decide to begin videotaping my family (secretly of course) 24-7 and launch my own Reality Blog show titled, "Meet The Hymuses," a hilarious but incorrect spelling of our last name according to some random junk mailer. Now the whole world can feel the pain of a mother caught in the maelstrom of both teen angst and toddler tantrums, as she and her husband raise a 13 and 3 year old.

- I decide writing for pay is for suckers and that the only writing with any true merit is speaking from the heart about random topics, grammar be damned.

- A publisher decides my blog entries are so witty, I'm forced to begin blogging again which immediately freezes my creative juices and earns me the title of a dried up has been. This would be crushing except for the immediate offers from the producers of Dancing With the Stars, Gone Country, and every other show on Vh-1 not titled something "of Love."

Should I start blogging again with any consistency, one or all or none of these things have happend.

So, how the hell have you been?

Straight, No Chaser...Carrie Jones

noreply@blogger.com (Paula) — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 19:06:00 +0000

The good thing about friends is they love you no matter what.

I was supposed to tour Carrie a few days ago. But where does the flippin' time go?

Still love me Carrie? You better. ::wink::

Carrie is one of the sweetest authors I know - snatching bags from total strangers at BEA aside. Yet, her book titles scream scandalous. Tell me this title isn't scandalous, Tips on Having a Gay (Ex) Boyfriend or her latest, Love (and other uses for duct tape)

Un-huh. I've always heard that the quiet ones are the ones you've gotta watch out for, carrying around duct tape and things. So, Carrie, give us the real scoop on what's ticking inside ya' head.

Clichés

Which cliché best describes you as an author?

CJ: I am going to say this one, eclectic Toni Morrison, because this is who I want to be. Is that cheating?

Stereotypes

Complete this sentence: I’m a total….from my BLANK to my BLANK, I could write the book on being BLANK

CJ: I am a total Postum drinker. From my ability to mix wheat grain and molasses into a liquid mix to my blueish hair love for cats, I could write the book on drinking liquid beverage cereal.

Pop Culture References

Using either television, film or literary references, give us the one or two sentence pitch you’d give film agents:

CJ: LOVE (AND OTHER USES FOR DUCT TAPE) is High Fidelity folk-girl style crossed with Dawson 's Creek.

If you did an informercial for your book, who would be the perfect celeb to serve as the pitch guy or gal? And why?

CJ: Dar Williams would be the perfect woman to pitch LOVE and TIPS. She's got the same folk-music activist feel as Belle with this sexy, feminine side that makes you believe she could cuddly a kitty.

Stalkerazzi

Complete this sentence: It’s a good thing I’m not a stalker or else INSERT NAME OF CELEB MINOR OR MAJOR would be in trouble because

CJ: It's a good thing I'm not a stalker or else Sherman Alexie would be in trouble because I'd be totally Spider-man stuck to his ceiling trying to read his poems before he even printed them out.

It's a good thing I'm not a stalker or else Stephen Colbert would also be in trouble because I have this thing for comedians with their own hair and I'd be waiting under his anchor-man desk with a roll of duct tape trying to figure out how I could permanently attach myself to his shin.

History Lesson

A lot of times, authors start a book with one concept in mind (especially us pantsters) and end up with a totally different story. For your most current book tell us where you story started and ultimately ended.

CJ: My book started out about death and ended up about sex.

Eek. What does that say about me?

NOTE: See, I told you you've got to watch out for the quiet ones.

Those crazy desert Island Questions

You’re on a desert island with a cell phone. Miraculously it has two bars and enough battery life to make one three minute call. Who do you call?

CJ: The guys who write/produce LOST. I mean, come on... They know all about this stuff about getting off islands and how to zap a little more energy into batteries ala Sayid, and how to make story. I could learn so much in those three minutes.

If someone were deserted on an island and came across your book washed ashore, what’s the one thing they’d take from it and want to share with the world once they got back to civilization?

CJ: Possibly the fact that said book can be:

1. Eaten for fiber.

2. Used for toilet paper.

3. Burned for heat.

Oh, you mean the theme? That love can touch us one time and last for a lifetime and never let go until we're gone. Wait. No, that's the song from Titanic. Darn.

Which celebrity would you like to see put on a bus and dropped in the desert? And why?

CJ: Oh, that's so mean. That's really mean. I could never... Um. Okay. I'll play. I don't really want to call these guys "celebrities" but probably Glenn Beck or that guy on Fox News... Bill M-something. I am tired of extremist hate mongering and shout-down soundbites just to get ratings. It's the spreading of inflammatory ignorance that doesn't even come close to getting to the depth of issues that bugs me... really, really bugs me. Could we put them on a bus and drop them into space, actually? Please?

The Buzz on Love (and other uses for duct tape) & Tips

"The story is honest, earthy, and appealing." - KLIATT

"Jones offers an atypical perspective of the coming-out story by legitimizing the love that is not lost, but changed, when young people grow up and apart." —School Library Journal

AI7 ain't the best, but...

noreply@blogger.com (Paula) — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 01:00:00 +0000

David Cook's rendition of Lionel Richie's "Hello" was a serious breath of fresh air.

I'm not sure how much they're paying Ryan, Simon, Paula and Randy to keep slinging that mess that this is the best season of American Idol contestants they've ever seen. But I ain't buying it.

The last few seasons, I've found myself checking out of American Idol earlier and earlier. This season, I topped myself by checking out after only two weeks of live performances. The girls bored me so bad last week, I didn't bother to watch them this week.

Even if I'd bothered would I be able to tell them apart? I mean nearly every single contestant is blonde!

However, I happened to peek in on the guy's and was glad I did because David Cook - who honestly I have no recollection of prior to Tuesday night, reminded me what Idol should be about: folks taking existing songs and truly making them their own.

Chris Daughtry did it.

Fantasia did it, during her season.

But Idol shouldn't be about one person's ability to do this. At this level, with all of America watching, all of the candidates should be talented enough to do that.

At this point, I honestly don't care who wins.

I mean, David Archuletta is a cutie pie and decent vocally. But two teen Idols in a row?

The rest of the candidates are, to coin Simon's term, "utterly forgettable."

But this, right here? It could totally be a smash.

Waiting Your Turn

noreply@blogger.com (Paula) — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 04:59:00 +0000

I've always hated for people to call me "lucky" when something good happened to me. Truth is, I've never considered myself a very lucky person at all.

I mean, I've never won anything.

I can't remember the last time I found something valuable lying on the street or at the bottom of an old purse.

And those are things that happen to lucky people.

The rest of us are stuck relying on hard work and good fortune. And let me tell you that's nothing like luck at all.

Luck is random. You can get lucky doing absolutely nothing at all. And you're just as capable of running into bad luck as good, based on odds.

Good fortune, on the other hand, comes when you're out there making opportunities. It's purposeful and strategic, even though you can't will it to hit when you want.

It's early, but 2008 is shaping up to be a good year for many writers I know. Good fortune is paying a visit to many and I'm hoping a few more months of late nights will have her knocking on my door as well.

But for now...

My pub house mate, L. Divine, had her series extended. Eight more books.

My other pub house mate, Stephanie Perry Moore, recently snagged a deal that I'm not sure she's made public yet. Let's just say it involves one of her books, Tyler Perry and the film industry. Shhh!

Last year, among my "class" mates in The Class of 2K7, we had award-winning authors and million-dollar deals.

None of those things came about by luck. Good timing, in some respects, but not luck. What Publishers Weekly doesn't announce among all the deal listings are the number of years a writer toiled, writing, revising, being rejected only to start the process all over before they hit the six-figure deal, movie deal or received an award for their writing.

Success is about staying the course.

I'm about to come off a very long month of promoting authors during The Brown Bookshelf 28 Days Later initiative. Interviewing authors and working with BBS members has kept my mind so busy, I haven't had much time, unitl now, to think about my course. Or where I am on it.

Am I closer to success today than I was a month ago or a year ago?

I don't know. Heck, I'm not sure some days what "success" means in an industry where a writer may not earn out their advance but can still be considered successful in sales.

I'm just waiting my turn for the next good thing. The milestones that will put me closer to writing full-time.

Selling more books.

Expanding my series.

Having the DRB Clique optioned for a movie or TV show.

It figures that I'd choose a profession where none of the above can be truly planned, much less guaranteed.

Still, I believe that if I put in the hard work all of those things will happen, at some point.

Until then, with 28 Days Later now successfully behind me (my last spotlight is today. Check out Sherri L. Smith), I may actually rest my Type A mind and focus simply on my own writing for awhile.

Wish me luck.